recent thoughts

yesterday, somebody has touched the very sensitive aspect of me. he bravely said that i need to get a steady relationship. that i should get married or at least have a boyfriend! gosh i hate that! he thinks that i enjoy part-time relationship.
he said that i need someone who, how should i put it, control me. coz i carry load more than i can take. well, isn't that new?
he also stated that i have been unstable lately. yes, i realize that sir. but it's because i have been feeling really weak, physically. and i am so sorry becoz o' that.

he said, it's been ruining my concentration. well, sorry to say, it's not because of that.

no, i never been very exciting about flinging. but the truth is, i am dead scared! yeah... people might think it's a cliche. but it's true. im scared of starting things again, afraid of endup like my parents. gosh, stupid i know. but can you really avoid or deny your own feeling? dont think so.
you can call me a chicken shit or anything. dont care.

i know he said that concerning my work, bla bla bla...
but making me cry? aaaarrrrggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i don't want to deal with another "andika" in my life. thats all.

btw, im writing a short article about how to deal with your boss. should i continue? it's only been 2 pages. but i really am inspired by him. cant deny that!
what a f*&kin' dilemma!